DEAR NIGERIAN PARENTS, TEACH YOUR SONS TO GIVE COMPLIMENT
And your daughters to receive it without feeling entitled or unworthy.
Compliment, not flattery.
That would have saved me some minutes today.
From the noise outside the gate, I knew someone has hurt Alhaja so badly for her to be that loud.
Yes, she could be handful but she’s coded.
Her low spikey voice texture has never traded her hanger away since over 5years she’s been occupying that space in front of my gate.
“iyalaya ẹ lo n bá wí” (It is your grandmother you are talking to)
By the time I got there, there are boys all over telling her not to take it personal.
I got the wind of the matter pretty quickly and I realized that a young man who had come to buy cigarette from her has ‘jamtalked’.
Alhaja is in her 70s.
Very fair in complexion.
A landmark of beauty in her hay days.
Atrithis has not been fair on her bones but she kept them moving everyday.
Very dedicated to her petty trading and she has become my friend over the years.
Sometimes, we miss ourselves when we don’t see in days.
One girl had come to buy her trade and made her request in Yoruba.
“Alhaja, ṣe ẹ ni ẹwa?” (Alhaja, do you have beans?)
“Ó rí mi o loo ri ẹwà” (You see me and you are asking for beauty)
It so happened that in Yoruba, same word could have several meanings.
For instance, igba could mean time, calabash, two hundred, or garden egg.
Just as Ẹwa could mean Beans, Beauty, or Come depending on the tone and didactic pronunciation.
That is how this young man who came for cigarette opened his buccal cavity and say “but ẹwà tí yín tí kọjá lọ màmá”
Meaning, “mama your beauty has faded away”.
How can you say that to anyone on this planet earth?
I felt pained in my bones.
Especially that women, irrespective of age, take compliment very seriously and would always fall for it…lol.
Mama set her madness free without limit.
It is the roaming craze that alerted me and took 1hr of my 24hrs of the day.
“How can you see this enigma and all you could say is ẹwà yín tí kọjá lọ?” I said in a calm tone.
Without allowing him to respond because he definitely would worsen the matter, I went ahead to tell Alhaja that:
“ọkùnrin to bá rii yín to lòun ó rí ẹwà, o yẹ kí wọn fún ní truck Pepsi kan mú ní ”
(Any man that couldn’t see your beauty to appreciate it should be given a truck of Pepsi to drink as a punishment)
Tension vamoose instanta!
Alhaja said “ó ṣe jàre pastor mi, àwọn eleyi o daa’yan man” (thank you my Pastor, these ones don’t appreciate good things)
I feel she got a sense of entitlement though, but no one should degrade another either by intention of hurting or being blunt.
It cost nothing to see the world from God’s perspective.
He looked at everything he’s created and they are good to him.
See the good in others always.
Let your words be seasoned with salt, preserving, protecting, and adding flavour to the life of others.
The world is hard enough.
Make it beautiful with your utterance today.
Picture Credit: Google
Grace be with you.